5 People You'll Meet at Work

December 9, 2015

Everyone knows that work is a part of life. Unfortunately, most jobs involve being in an office with real humans - most of whom you want little to nothing to do with.

Here are the 5 people that you're likely to encounter in your office:

1. The Talker/Oversharer - Do you want to know what this person's husband had for breakfast? No? Great! Because they're gonna fucking tell you anyways. Getting cornered in the kitchen by this person is the worst. The only good thing is that they help you reach your goal of doing literally nothing productive for about an hour.

2. The Know-It-All - Whether this person has worked there for a week or 15 years, they're gonna tell you everything about the business. They'll send passive aggressive emails, read-receipts, and won't shut up about their productivity levels. No fucking thanks.

3. The Hoarder - The second anyone puts out free shit, they take all of it. They probably don't even like cookies, but they take 50 of them and keep them at their desk. Need some binder clips? Good luck finding them because this person has them all at their desk. You would think that they were squirreling stuff away for a freaking storm if you ever opened any of their drawers.

4. Office Friend - Finding this person is like finding a unicorn. Once you find them, keep them close because they're most likely your only ally in the building. The key to finding this person is a common interest or hating the same thing/person. You guys can laugh about the Talker together. Bad news - even though you see this person more than your real friends, you're most likely not gonna get an invite to their wedding. Good news - you wouldn't know anyone there anyways.

5. The Annoying Habit Person - This is the absolute worst. Whether it's someone who sighs a lot, clears their throat often, talks on personal calls loudly, or chews for everyone to hear, this person will drive you right up a fucking wall. If you have HR, report their annoying behavior ASAP so that hopefully it'll stop. I don't think you can really report for sighing though *sighs*

WHERE TF IS ROB KARDASHIAN?!

December 2, 2015


Here's a question that has been lingering on my mind since about May 2014... Where the f*ck is Rob Kardashian?

Since Kim & Kanye's wedding in May 2014 he has been seen in public TWO times. While this feat is impressive, especially in such a public family, this is a little frightening.

I know that the break up with Adrienne was tough on him, but they broke up over 4 years ago. There's gotta be something more to this and I'm planning on making it my life's duty to make sure he is well. In the meantime, here are some things that I think could help Bobby out a lot:

1. Xanax - These will help Rob sleep and calm his nerves when the paparazzi is trying to snap the latest picture of him. He'll be chill as f*ck and maybe he can stop regretting the tattoo of Adrienne's name he has.

2. Instagram - Rob needs to start Instagramming the shit out of his life. Not a lot makes me feel better than a bunch of likes on my picture of my green juice. Likes = justification, justification = self confidence. And the best part is, he'll have so many followers he won't have to worry about getting less than 1,000 likes on any pic.

3. Adderall - Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels? So true and one way to drop some lbs. fast is to not eat and be super productive. What a way to kill 2 birds with one stone.. or 2 pounds with one adderall.

With these 3 things and a little effort - Rob will be back in action in no time. 

xo

Breaking Down My Emotions and Adele's Lyrics

November 20, 2015

I'm catching up on lost time, sue me. 

As most people with a pulse know, Adele's first album in 5 years, "25" came out today. Betches and men who are in touch with their feminine side are going abso-bananas for the album, and rightfully so. Adele's voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus, but better. Here are the songs based on their best lyrics and my feels.

1. "Hello" 
Adele's first single off of the album has been out for a few weeks now. It has been remixed, played, and played some more. The power on this song is out of this world. Supposedly it's an apology to Adele's friends & family for becoming a total Hollywood sell out after "21." First off, the only place Adele was a sell out was at arenas and concerts all over the world. Secondly, if anyone apologized to me with a song like this, I would find myself apologizing to them after listening to it. 
Best Verse: "Hello, how are you?
It's so typical of me to talk about myself, I'm sorry. 
I hope that you're well. 
Did you ever make it out of that town, 
Where nothing ever happened? 
It's no secret
That the both of us are running out of time"

2. "Send My Love (To Your New Lover)"
This song is a lot faster paced than what we are used to for Adele. Am I complaining? Fuck no. This song makes me feel like I am seeing my ex with his new girl for the first time and not caring/letting go. Can someone please break up with me so I can relate better to these songs!?
Best Verse: "I was too strong, you were trembling
You couldn't handle the hot heat rising (rising)
Baby I'm so rising
I was running, you were walking
You couldn't keep up, you were falling down (down)
There's only one way down"

3. "I Miss You" 
No girl, I've missed YOU. This song is passionate, angry, and perfect. Everything about it has me thinking of someone I once had an insane attraction to.. you know it's dangerous but are like "eh, fuck it.. I'm going all in."
Best Line: "Baby you bring your heart, I'll bring my soul."

4. "When We Were Young"
I mean, yes, yes, yes. This has been dubbed as "the song to base Instagram posts off of," and that could not be any more accurate. I want to post a different picture for every verse, and I have no idea why I'm feeling like that. Probably because everyone wants something that's "just like a movie," but let's not get philosophical and let's instead rock the f out to this amazing song. 
Best Verse: "Everybody here is watching you
Cause you feel like home
You're like a dream come true
But if by chance you're here alone
Can I have a moment 
Before I go? 
Cause I've been by myself all night long
Hoping you're someone I used to know"

5. "Remedy" 
Adele slows it down majorly with this ballad. Definitely about wanting to be someone's everything. Adele, baby girl, you don't need to sell yourself as someone's remedy, you & this album are my remedy.. to an ailment I didn't even know I had. 
Favorite Verse: "No river is too wide or too deep for me to swim to you
Come whenever I'll be the shelter that won't let the rain come through
Your love, it is my truth
And I will always love you
Love you, love you"

6. "Water Under the Bridge"
YUP! This song totally goes with my super mature life motto, "if doing (blank) is wrong, I don't want to be right." In this case, Adele is basically telling her lover "if we're not right for each other, I don't wanna be right." We've all been in situations that aren't good for us.. But do they feel good at the time and are we able to see beyond that? Usually not. 
Best Verse (the chorus, obv): "If you're gonna let me down, let me down gently
Don't pretend that you don't want me 
Our love ain't water under the bridge"

7. "River Lea"
I made the mistake of reading reviews prior to allowing myself to listen to this song in its entirety. Adele is calling herself a river, and I am turning my office into one with the tears currently streaming down my face. This song will have you feeling emotions you didn't even know you had and cant explain.
Best Verse: "I should probably tell you now before it's way too late
That I never meant to hurt you or lie straight to your face
Consider this my apology, I know it's years in advance
But I'd rather say it now in case I never get the chance"

8. "Love in the Dark"
This song is definitely about Adele breaking up with someone that she doesn't want to hurt. I'm assuming this is someone she has nothing in common with. Case in point, "it feels like we're oceans apart." She's pretty much saying "it's been real, we've had fun, but time to go our separate ways."
Best Verse: "We're not the only ones 
I don't regret a thing
Every word I've said
You know I'll always mean
It is the world to mean
That you are in my life
But I want to live 
And not just survive"

9. "Million Years Ago"
"Million Years Ago" is the anthem for people who live life with NO RAGRAAATTTS - until they have so many regrets they're prescribed enough Xanax to knock out the Sunday scaries for the rest of their lives. Besides that, this song is perfect for people in their twenties (or 30s, 40s, judgment free zone) who feel like they haven't quite gotten their ish figured out yet. I mean.. "sometimes I just feel it's only me, who never became who they thought they'd be" is exactly how I feel when I am sitting at my cube every day. Anyways, if you can't relate to this song and smile cry while listening to it, you're not my people.
Best Verse: "I only wanted to have fun
Learning to fly, learning to run
I let my heart decide the way
When I was young"

10. All I Ask 
Adele, all I ask is that you don't make us wait another 5 years for an album. On the real though, this is a song that I think is about knowing that what you have with someone is over, but staying a little longer. Almost everyone has had a relationship that they knew wasn't going anywhere, but for some reason you just can't let yourself get out of. It's not that the relationship is bad by any means, you both just aren't in love anymore. It sucks feeling like you're gonna lose that intimate connection with someone. Know what else sucks? Realizing there's only one more song left on "25."
Best Lyrics: "I don't need your honesty
It's already in your eyes and I'm sure my eyes, they speak for me
No one knows me like you do
And since you're the only one that matters, tell me who do I run to?

11. Sweetest Devotion 
I want to sing this song in my car (on the bus), in the shower, to my coworkers.. you get the picture. The rhythm and the lyrics of this song are on point. This is about committing to someone? Maybe you weren't ready for them then, but you're ready for them now. Kind of like how I feel when I'm not hungry but I order food anyways. Adele ends her album (silent sob) on a high note and has me wanting more.
Best Lyrics: "I'll forever be whatever you want me to be
I'll go under and all over for your clarity
When you wonder if I'm gonna lose my way home
Just remember, that come whatever, I'll be yours all alone"

Grunge Chic

October 7, 2015

This fall, I am absolutely loving the grunge chic look. I have always been a huge fan of flannels and chunky sweaters, but have been trying to find ways to incorporate my shabby look with a more polished vibe for work.
Favorite Items:
This Chunky Sweater with elbow patches from Urban Outfitters is at the top of my "to buy" list currently. I'm absolutely obsessed with elbow patches and any chance I can get to purchase something with them on, I'm sold.
My bank account & my feet have found their way to Madewell. I had stopped in/looked up some of their stuff before, but now it has become a full blown obsession. A few things that I'm loving from there right now are:
suede billie boot in sand - so comfy & so cute
oversized flannel  in "utopian pine..." or really any color
leather trim dress
hillstack bolo necklace

The list of items that I'm obsessed with in Fall 2015 is seriously too many to count.

More to come..