Wednesday, December 9, 2015

5 People You'll Meet at Work


December 9, 2015

Everyone knows that work is a part of life. Unfortunately, most jobs involve being in an office with real humans - most of whom you want little to nothing to do with.

Here are the 5 people that you're likely to encounter in your office:

1. The Talker/Oversharer - Do you want to know what this person's husband had for breakfast? No? Great! Because they're gonna fucking tell you anyways. Getting cornered in the kitchen by this person is the worst. The only good thing is that they help you reach your goal of doing literally nothing productive for about an hour.

2. The Know-It-All - Whether this person has worked there for a week or 15 years, they're gonna tell you everything about the business. They'll send passive aggressive emails, read-receipts, and won't shut up about their productivity levels. No fucking thanks.

3. The Hoarder - The second anyone puts out free shit, they take all of it. They probably don't even like cookies, but they take 50 of them and keep them at their desk. Need some binder clips? Good luck finding them because this person has them all at their desk. You would think that they were squirreling stuff away for a freaking storm if you ever opened any of their drawers.

4. Office Friend - Finding this person is like finding a unicorn. Once you find them, keep them close because they're most likely your only ally in the building. The key to finding this person is a common interest or hating the same thing/person. You guys can laugh about the Talker together. Bad news - even though you see this person more than your real friends, you're most likely not gonna get an invite to their wedding. Good news - you wouldn't know anyone there anyways.

5. The Annoying Habit Person - This is the absolute worst. Whether it's someone who sighs a lot, clears their throat often, talks on personal calls loudly, or chews for everyone to hear, this person will drive you right up a fucking wall. If you have HR, report their annoying behavior ASAP so that hopefully it'll stop. I don't think you can really report for sighing though *sighs*





WHERE TF IS ROB KARDASHIAN?!

December 2, 2015


Here's a question that has been lingering on my mind since about May 2014... Where the f*ck is Rob Kardashian?

Since Kim & Kanye's wedding in May 2014 he has been seen in public TWO times. While this feat is impressive, especially in such a public family, this is a little frightening.

I know that the break up with Adrienne was tough on him, but they broke up over 4 years ago. There's gotta be something more to this and I'm planning on making it my life's duty to make sure he is well. In the meantime, here are some things that I think could help Bobby out a lot:

1. Xanax - These will help Rob sleep and calm his nerves when the paparazzi is trying to snap the latest picture of him. He'll be chill as f*ck and maybe he can stop regretting the tattoo of Adrienne's name he has.

2. Instagram - Rob needs to start Instagramming the shit out of his life. Not a lot makes me feel better than a bunch of likes on my picture of my green juice. Likes = justification, justification = self confidence. And the best part is, he'll have so many followers he won't have to worry about getting less than 1,000 likes on any pic.


3. Adderall - Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels? So true and one way to drop some lbs. fast is to not eat and be super productive. What a way to kill 2 birds with one stone.. or 2 pounds with one adderall.

With these 3 things and a little effort - Rob will be back in action in no time. 

xo